Project Name: How to Argue Effectively
Date Filmed: May 1996
Synopsis: I received this hilarious joke on the Internet and after brief discussion, we filmed it. It's almost verbatim with the joke, and we did it in the mood of one of those info-mercials, the orator trying to sell his tape on how to win arguments. (We had re-enactments of the examples). It turned out pretty good; to this day we occasionally use these remarks...
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Project Name: Pirates III - A Pirate Chrismas (Animation)
Date Filmed: December 1995 - January 1996
Synopsis: Even Pirates can get in the Christmas spirit. This was done with narration, to the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas." But of course if the Pirates were involved, we had to change the words a bit. Read the Pirate version of the poem, and use your imagination. This one is really good, and should rank up there with "It's a Wonderful Life" for Christmas.
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Project Name: Spearhead
Date Filmed: ?? - December 1994

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Synopsis: Imagine an invaded America, not unlike the movie Red Dawn, only elevated to the point where the military fights hand in hand with loyal partisans. We had an entire story developed and had filmed many of the action scenes. But once Jeff left to co-op one quarter, the movie was put on hold. We hastily edited together this trailer, and once we were done, we realized what we had was a masterpiece. We dropped the idea of ever finishing the movie, as we realized it would inevitably be very bad with rambling dialogues and worse acting. But this trailer is awesome. This was our most complex movie at the time - we filmed several scenes with model huey helicopters, complete with rotating propellers. Using pyrotechnics for some pretty neat explosions and some fast paced music, Spearhead is still one of our classics.
     Additional Picture: Death - Bryan Morrow and Jeff Ballentine after a particularly gory scene.
     Additional Picture: Makeup - Bryan Morrow, Kevin, Jonathon Hastings.
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Project Name: Rod Steele, P.I. (Some Animation)
Date Filmed: May 20 - June 13, 1994
Synopsis: Set in the 1920s, this is a half-animation story. In this episode, The Return of Dr. X, a damsel in distress comes to Rod Steele in desperation, saying Dr. X is out to kill her. Rod Steele gets right on it. After checking with his informant, Steele nabs Dr. X and all is happy... This movie was our attempt at a "Liquid TV" style. There would be a scene of "real people" which would change into an animated sequence, then change instantly back to "real people". For example, we drew a bar and a cartoon representation of Rod Steele, and had him walk in the room. Then the next scene would be of real people, sitting at the table talking. Then the scene would change again to another animated or cartoon clip. It's very well done, but the copy is kind of bad. However, you didn't walk away without knowing Rod Steele always gets his man (and the woman) :). Click here for the script/screenplay of Rod Steele!
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Project Name: The Joust (Animated)
Date Filmed: April 13 - May 7, 1994
View Clip Online: The Jouse - thanks to the Illegitimate Cinema for providing us an online clip. Synopsis: Our first 100% animated movie. While a few of the scenes are a tad out of focus, and a few tend to last a few seconds too long, we are extremely proud of The Joust. Using soldiers from the Battle Masters board game, and everything else we could pull out of the old toybox (Yoda, Spiderman, and the Pirates all play cameo appearances in the audience), it was a pretty busy project. When the king's armies return from the Crusades, he holds a grand tournament to celebrate their return. You see scenes of archers, knights battling wolves, mages, and of course the final joust. The idea came from a single knight, which Jeff's mother picked up from a garage sale and thought we could use it "in your movies". Three weeks later, we presented The Joust.
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Project Name: Melting Time
Date Filmed: March 1994
Synopsis: With the music to "Everybody Hurts" by REM and "These are Days" by 10,000 Maniacs, this is a tribute to Winter Quarter, 1994. Jeff was in Raleigh, NC Co-opping with IBM and the video reflects all the experiences shared with friends that quarter. Did you ever see the Wayne's World spoof on the REM video "Everybody Hurts"? This follows that motif.
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Project Name: The Triton Crisis
Date Filmed: December 19 - December 24, 1993
Synopsis: Our first attempt at a pseudo-feature length film. Towering over 30 minutes long, we learned a good lesson with this one. You cannot keep the attention of home video audiences with a long movie like this one. It is pretty well done, and was really our first stab at special effects. We built 3 minature sets, and used refrigerator boxes for the "climbing through the vents" scene. It has a simple but effective plot, but the acting is a bit below par, and it simply drags on too long. The story? The Marines on the far outpost colony Triton must defend the colony for 3 days from the attacking Cygnian forces until reenforcements arrive. Outnumbered, they must also deal with the saboteur who will stop at nothing to further hinder the Federation effort...
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Project Name: Pirates II
Date Filmed: December 1992
Synopsis: The Pirates everyone loves to love come back. After being thwarted in Pirates I, the little guys made their way back to the island, regrouped, built a new ship, and headed back for revenge. After being chased by a dragon (who was lurking in the Straits of the Foyer), (the dragon was a big stuffed dinosaur, before the days of Barney. Now That would have been good), the pirates found the three humans. The human who tripped the ship in Pirates I approached the ship again, determined to conquer yet another boat. The Pirates opened up with their cannons, sending the human to the floor, swarming him as the other two dash from the room, panicked. The Pirates had their revenge. This was done a lot better. Some of the sail-by scenes are a bit long, but that song they sing is pretty funny (it is close to the Disney 'Pirates of the Carribean' song). Up until Pirate Titanic, Pirates II was often the movie we would introduce ourselves with.
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Project Name: Zulu Squad
Date Filmed: October 1992
Synopsis: Nothing more than a male adrenaline rush. The Zulu squad (a crack special forces team) has to sneak up on "the enemy compound". The fight scenes are actually really good in this, choreographed by our Kung Fu friend Joe Schnake. It is also the first time we used black powder for neat pyrotechnic explosions. It runs maybe 10 minutes long, but we edited all the junk out once and threw a techno track on top of the fight scenes. That actually made it a lot better.
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Project Name: Pimp Trek
Date Filmed: May 1990
Synopsis: This one from the archives depicts the crew of the "Starshii Enterpwise" Boldly going where no Ho has gone befo'. They encounter the aliens (played uncooperatively by our chihuahua dog Posey), who gets very violent (bites the hand that is holding her up), and the crew reacts- blowing it up. Mission Accomplished. And they warp away into the "Outer space...space." Although we'll laugh at it if we watch it, I doubt any of you will ever lay eyes on it - it's just way too cheesy.
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Project Name: Pirates I
Date Filmed: 1990
Synopsis: The Pirates were introduced to the world. Two humans are minding their own business when a cannonball hits one of them. They see the Pirates in the middle of the floor, yelling threats and insults to the humans. Before the final strike, a third human enters the room and unwittingly trips over the ship, spilling the pirates on the floor. The third human gripes about someone leaving toys out, and the video ends as you hear the gurgling of the "drowning" pirates. This was very good for the time and was an instant hit - it inspired 3 sequels. However, we had no tripod, so some of the animation is choppy, and lighting was bad. Acting is terrible, and Jeff is wearing this should-have-left-in-the-eighties cut-off t-shirt that is just terrible. Therefore, this one usually remains unseen. However, we did bite the bullet and play it on our first TV show, Feature from the Black Lagoon, to show where our roots began.
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Project Name: Scarface 2
Date Filmed: ~1990
Synopsis: Acting is really bad in Scarface 2. The only thing worth mentioning here is this was the first movie we attempted using blood packs/firecrackers for that 'getting shot' effect. Flatten a tin can, tape it down on someone's chest, and tape a firecracker to it. It's the only redeeming quality of this short movie. We even refined the effect in Spearhead, so you're better off not seeing this one at all.
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